MY GENESIS, EXODUS AND A LIL MORE (Pieced together from an sms conversation)

In the beginning, all things looked grand…one got to know a new family member everyday… a good vacation was a day at the farm and Freetown was a far off place called “Salon”. And then came the exodus. Long days trecks and nights of hunger… To a homely exile where I met you, you and you…where life grabbed me and taught me about the world. And then I went back…

When I got there, the town looked so small and some parts were still ravaged. Before going there last year I still had my childhood memories of town with fun experiences everyday. on my walk from school which was next to the hospital, to my uncle so he could go eat with me because I would not eat by myself to the walk across the center of town where the Lebanese and Syrian cocoa merchants who were sponsors of my dads soccer team would give me treats to go home. The visits to my grandpa’s farm riding on the back of his bike on the way to the farm just to sit down and watch them farm and then start crying when it was time to go home because I did not want to walk those three miles.

When I went back last year I only spent a few hours there because I got there one evening and left there the following morning. Now I know I was running away from the ruined memories. All the pictures I had in mind about my warm friendly community were shattered. Having gotten over the shock however, I wish I had stayed longer. I know there are a lot of good things about my town that I still treasure and I have made myself a promise that the next time I’m around I will spend a few days there reacquainting myself with my land of birth and filling that void that I now realize has always been there that always made me claim myself as a “mende boy” even as I regret forgetting to speak that beautiful tongue I was so prolific in in my early years.

APOLOGIES

SORRY
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

YOU AND I KNOW WHY...

I told you I'm sorry
but i never told you why
all those times i saw you
but never said hi
all those times i walked by with another girl right in front of your house
all those times i pissed on your hospitality by ogling other girls at your events
as time passes without acknowledgment so did i pass our time together
for all those times i caused other girls to disrespect you in your school
for all the tears i caused you to shed
all the indignity and disrespect i put you through
I can only say with deepest regrets that I'm sorry.

Not sorry for the time we spent together
The endless hours we spent under the cashew tree
Sharing meaningless stories together with family histories
Not sorry for our clumsy first kiss
It was my first too

This Christmas
all i want from Santa
Is the granting of my foremost wish
That you will accept my apologies
That we will still be friends without the awkwardness
that we will start anew

and i know Santa will consider these wishes
because as much as i have been naughty this year
when ranked with how naughty i was those past years
I aspire to nothing but nicety
except of course when i think about how naughty
i want to be with you

What Makes you Special

Two hands two legs a head shoulder neck and trunk all of which you possess do not make you special.

Your legs are graceful and smooth, hinting at the hidden delight that a roving hand might enjoy, the hips are neither wispy nor plumb. Just the right proportion to balance the soft mounds which swing with it, the stomach flat, all the more alluring for reflecting, the exquisiteness of the hips at one end and the burgeoning apices at the other… both mounds hidden but tantalizingly pert. The hands dainty, never without a purpose… always seem to be charged, transferring a tingling sense of electricity whenever your hands glance upon mine. The eyes, lips and cheeks conspiring in their quest to rival the suns radiance, the voice sirenic, compelling the audience by its sheer ability to raise one above the throng.

It is those memories we call ours, the scars that tell our story, the smile that no one can copy, the thought of you that no one can replace, the racing heart with which I acknowledge that ring tone that I designated to you, the laughter that permeates our conversations interlaced by those moments of intellectual discourse and the fact that you dare me…dare me to give up my inhibitions and just dwell in that place where your feelings and mine are the manna that sustain us.

That my lady, is what makes you special…

OUR MOMENTS

Your eyes are lucky; they were the first to get to know her.

The best moment is the first time you saw her, you just had to turn again, yes she is that beautiful. No one exists but you and her… everyone else is an obstacle between the two of you. Finally she’s alone. You waddle over, mouth heavy. Hello you say….she smiles and the world is a better place.

The best dawn can never be surpassed. The night was sweet, lying back on the fields all night, surrounded by beauty, basking in the presence of her beauty, the peacefulness of the flowers and the overwhelming radiance of the stars. You walk her home. A first date should be sealed by a kiss you’re thinking all the way home. She stops at her door, looks up in your eyes, your soul, are those stars you are seeing in her eyes…you step up she draws close and those are definitely stars you’re seeing

The worst day is when she’s mad at you. She does not say it, but you know you’re locked out. You miss her voice, the soft sweet voice she uses at those moments…her face is engraved in your mind, the upturn of both edges of her mouth when she smiles just for you, you’re sorry this has to end, it was all your fault. You call, she does not pick up. Hell. you will not call again, but you do and she picks up. Hello she says….that’s all you wanted to hear…making up is worth the breakup …for just this once of course.

The best morning comes after a warm night of passionate love…When you wake up in your partner’s arms, the fresh scintillating smell of her hair in your nose, her body molded unto yours. Your hand over her bosom, rising and falling with her every heartbeat…she stirs…but not to worry, she just pours herself better into the spoon that is you.

The best twilight comes at the end of the worst dinner. Trying to cram your stomach that seems to already be filled with butterflies, hoping that she hasn’t found out, praying that nothing goes wrong, impatient for her to finish eating the salad she loves so much… and when finally the lights dim, celine shows up, the music ensues and the love songs flow together in a slow rhythm, you go down on your knees…her eyes light up…you open your lips…her tears start to flow. seems the whole world wants to hear her response to your question, oh yes the question that you have not asked yet…“will you marry me” comes out in a wispy voice…the rivers are unleashed. She laughs, cries, jumps, sits down, gets up, and finally joins you on your knees, yes she says and that’s all you wanted to hear.